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Can't You Get Along With Anyone? was first published in a limited edition in the UK. Why the UK? What about my home country, the good old U.S. of A? Why wasn’t it in print here first, with my old publisher? The short answer is that I’m a persona non grata in U.S. publishing (plus the movie business). The whole story is part of the book.
But hold on. Why is this? Why am I a persona non grata in U.S. publishing and the movie business?
Has to do with the demented editor I was subjected to in getting In Search of Captain Zero into print, and the attempts by people in both businesses to discredit me and my new book, i.e., fear of exposure.
Which reminds me: Where did I get the title?
“Can’t you get along with anyone?” was the body of the email I received from my Hollywood movie writing agent in response to my email firing her for her behavior during the Zero movie deal debacle.
While I’m at it:
Why did Sean Penn wish me “something resembling death”?
Because, in short, Sean Penn, who co-optioned the book for the movies.... hey, see for yourself...
Why did I physically threaten John Cusack?
Why did Cusack subsequently offer me the job of adapting Cosmic Banditos for the screen?
We both realized there’d been a misunderstanding -- based in the dishonesty of a showbiz lawyer; we shared a knowing laugh at the symmetry of that.
How did I “extort” hundreds of thousands of dollars from the Hollywood movie machine, and why do I feel no guilt about having done so?
Has to do with Brad Pitt and the following possible Variety headline regarding who would play me in the movie version of Zero: PITT PLUS PENN PUGILIZE PURSUING PAL PIC PART!
Who is The Facilitator and how did he get the ear-to-ear scar across his throat?
Has to do with why I looked up his “understudy” -- in a border town whorehouse where I got semi-raped by an alpha whore in 1998 while investigating a double murder – in order to have someone’s face rearranged.
Why did “the most dangerous man in Pavones” threaten to run me out of town and how did that connect to an ex-mercenary to whom I showed unmotivated kindness after he lost his grubstake because of Bush’s bogus war on terror?
A lot of reasons, some having to do with the Big Fish in a Little Pond Syndrome, which in turn is related to his aggravation over my superior nose-riding abilities.
What do I mean by my “O.K. Corral extravaganza”?
Has to do with my next door neighbor in paradise – an asshole who doesn’t even surf – and something he did in my house while I was in the States researching The Meaning of Life by interviewing a theoretical physicist who seeks to understand God through looking into first causes and playing jazz music on the saxophone.
Who is The Waterman Who Would Be King and why did he turn on me after I put my ass on the line for him?
A piece of hard-earned advice in place of an answer: Be on the lookout for treachery from a jailbird egomaniac facing his comeuppance.
How did Mom help me get through it all, four years after her death?
Has to do with a dream Mom had while I was on a sinking ship in the North Atlantic in 1978 and a miracle that transpired that night, plus maybe the prophetic words, “The man who was born to hang need not fear the water”.
Why was the love of my life telling my friends in paradise that I was going mad?
A better question: Who was the guy who came to our hotel room in San Jose asking if she “has a blood type” while we thought my life was in danger via a hired killer?
Why do I say my forehead sometimes bleeds while I’m writing?
The answer to this one should be obvious by now.
How did the aforementioned double murder from eight years ago, which I solved at risk to my life, come back to haunt me in a way I not only could not have foreseen, but could not have made up in my wildest fiction dreams?
Can’t You Get Along With Anyone? A Writer's Memoir, and a Tale of a Lost Surfer’s Paradise asks these questions and, I believe, really answers them. In doing so it may change your way of looking at the world. This is my hope, and how high I set the bar on this one.
Please read my book.
If you haven’t already, subscribe to my eZine (it’s free) and I’ll be in touch. (You bet I will.)
This book nearly killed me to write. Three times. Please read it.
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