Enter your email address below and we'll let you know when there's good new stuff up here
THE ORIGIN OF THE DARK SIDE
Remember Darth Maul and the race of evil-doers called the Sith from the Star Wars saga?
A little-known fact: the Sith evolved from a race known as the Huyans, who had spent eons wandering around the Universe with their heads up their asses. Had they remained this way for eternity, all would have been well, since they were unable to perpetrate evil from this position. They were mainly ridiculed, especially by the Jedi, who would point their light sabers at the Huyans and laugh. (Another little known fact is that the Jedi had a mean and petty side.) The Huyans would try to defend themselves verbally, or ask to be just left alone, but not much was intelligible, for obvious reasons. This heightened the Jedi's ridicule.
Yoda was especially cruel to the Huyans. He would cackle then yell "Dingleberry nice you have there!" Or, in response to a Huyan plea to be left alone: "Tifsue! Tifsue!" (Tifsue is a Yoda-ism. It comes from TFSU, The Fuck Shut Up, as in "Stupid your argument is! Tifsue you should!")
However, in an act of revolutionary rebellion, one day the Huyans heads popped out from up in their asses. A nebulae-sized cloud of intestinal gas was released, which drove the Jedi into a retreat to a far corner of the Universe. (See photo)
A result of many millennia of being the butt (so to speak) of Jedi jokes - and also because having your head up your ass is bad for the complexion -- the Huyans, now the Sith, were a cranky and fearsome race.
Partially in retaliation against the Jedi for all the jokes and humiliations, and partially because it's dark in there with your head up your ass, the Sith turned to the Dark Side, unleashing evil upon the Universe.
Some students of the Star Wars saga believe that Yoda himself was once a Huyan, and that this devastating revelation will come in the real final episode, in which the Head Up Your Ass origin of the Dark Side is revealed.
Registered users get to post comments on our stories. If you're not registered, click here and register so you can see the comment form
You can easily re-publish many of our pages on your website. Just click the gold star in the upper righthand corner of the page, grab the code, then paste it into any webpage with a .php extension. Click here for more info...