A long story; in fact, I could and did write a book about it -- Can’t You Get Along With Anyone? Here’s a small example, though, one which didn’t even make it into the book:

A year or so ago a major Brazilian publisher contacted me via my website, wanting to publish In Search of Captain Zero. Offered me a $4,000 advance plus an all-expenses paid trip to Rio. I said yes then informed Penguin Putnam about the deal. No, no, they said, you can’t do that. Said they already sold the Brazilian rights -- for $500 and no trip anywhere, let alone Rio. Five hundred fucking dollars. They did this without consulting me or even notifying me, which was a breach of contract, by the way.

Over a year later I haven’t even gotten the $500, and Penguin Putnam will not take or return my calls or answer my emails asking where the money is.

Another one: When In Search of Captain Zero was in pre-publication galleys I suggested to my editor (at Penguin) that she send it to Jimmy Buffett for a jacket blurb. I knew Buffett would like the book: parts of it read like one of his songs; there’s even a chapter about him. My editor refused to send the book to Buffett and didn’t give a reason why.

A couple years later, through a mutual friend, I met Buffett, whose first words to me were, “I’m a big fan!” He was talking about Zero, which a friend had given him. Turns out he would have gladly given me a blurb, and maybe even recommended the book to his fans, the Parrotheads. This likely would have sold tens of thousands of books. (Jimmy gave me a blurb for CYGAWA.)

Why did my editor at Penguin refuse my intelligent request that might have sold a lot of books? For personal reasons: to annoy me. Trust me on this for now, or read a bit about how it all started, and about my writer’s queasy gut…

The above are examples of the small stuff.

If I’m going to get screwed, sabotaged, insulted, ripped off, and annoyed, I prefer to do it myself. Hence I’m starting Bandito Books and, in effect, self-publishing.

If you’ve written a book and are sure it’s good read our submission guidelines.

If you have a book in mind but haven’t written it yet…