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Volume 1 - The First Edition

Bandito Browser First Edition

Volume 1 Number 1 CoverPerspective:

Perspective is my intro to each issue. “From the editor’s desk” kind of crapola.

So here we go, my thoughts on this first issue of The Bandito Browser:

It got out of hand.

A good example is the Mainly for Women section. One thing kept leading to another and to another, and then conflict and confrontation ensued. Sort of like the way wars get started. Or in this case my 4,000 word review of The Vagina Monologues

Speaking of wars getting started, the same thing happened with Alert the Media/Orwell as Optimist.

Allan Weisbecker, dazed and confusedWhat happened in both cases is that The Don’t Get Me Started Syndrome, or DGMS (pronounced “dogmiz”) Syndrome kicked in. The DGMS Syndrome can be good, can be bad. Depends on whether the DGMS sufferer is also aflicted by the HUYA! Syndrome. Often compounding a (tandem) HUYA!/DGMS Syndrome is the FIAB (Fish In A Barrel) Effect, which can act as a triggering mechanism for either or both Syndromes: What occurs is that you perceive a HUYA! Syndrome out there – whether in a neocon politician or in Michael Moore -- that’s so FIAB that DGMS is inevitable.

Add to the mix the TBWOS Perception (Two Birds With One Stone, pronounced 'tibwuz'), in which you can expose two HUYA! Syndromes in one fell swoop, which was the case with my The Vagina Monologues review.

Christ, then there's MOM. No, not my dear Mom, MOM, God bless her and rest her soul, but the 'My Own Magazine' MOM.

So due to relentless HUYA!s/FIABs/TBWOes/DDGMSes (try saying it all in one breath), this first issue of MOM got Out Of Hand (OOH, as in 'Ooh!'); it just kept snowballing until we said Enough! and put it out there. It's imperfect! We're sorry! Tifsue!

Tifsue? As you'll see if you hang in for 'The True Origin of the Dark Side,' TFSU is a Yoda-ism for The Fuck Shut Up!

But let’s get on with it. Click whatever links below that strike your fancy. (If you haven’t already seen the list of this issue’s guest contributors, you can now. )

Table of Contents:


Need a Laugh (as much as I do)?
Ridiculous stuff from wherever we can find it

The Writing Life
Wanna be a writer? Read this first!

Fiction
The Final Voyage of Thor Heyerdahl

“Nonfiction”
What a load of horseshit that word is...

Movie Moments
Contributions from JBrother, a sequence from Zen & Zero, a scene from Allan's lunatic screenplay about What It all Means, plus fun and games with Sean Penn

The Visual Arts
Contributions from Walter & Bjorn Iooss, Gregory de la Haba, and more

What It All Means
A short film by Jim Ritterhoff, an essay by Allan, and how the universe might've poofed out but didn't

Alert the Media/Orwell as Optimist
Stuff about world affairs that Brokaw/Blitzer/Brit (just to stick to the 'B's) forgot to to tell you

The Sporting Life
Award-winning guest author Eric Blehm's snowboarding adventure in Iran

Cowabunga / The Surfing Life (55)
Film clips from JBrother, Zen & Zero, and Jack McCoy plus stories by Drew Kampion, Jamie Brisick, ACW, and some big time barrels.

The Natural World
An amazing life and death occurrence in equatorial Africa

Pieces of Paradise
A new version of Allan Weisbecker's Men's Journal piece, The Caribbean on $25 a Day

Mainly For Men
Featuring the swimsuit photography of Walter Iooss, an excerpt from Allan's new book (aptly titled 'The Horror'), plus Jamie Brisck connects Bridget Bardot and your existence on planet earth

Mainly For Women
A lot of wild stuff here but mainly Allan gets into trouble with vaginas everywhere....

Mainly For Hermaphrodites
Some utter tastelessness and a 'gaseous' letter from a literary giant that'll curl your hair

Parting Shots


Send me the best of the web (at webstuff@banditobooks.com) so I can pass it on! Help me make The Bandito Browser the ultimate online magazine/resource!

If you like what I’ve done here, please spread the word. Forward this link to your friends. The success of this venture called Bandito Books depends upon you.

If you haven’t already done so, subscribe or get off the pot. Whaddya nuts?

 


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